We have been half looking for another property for a couple of years. Nothing urgent. The city keeps arriving a little closer, and every so often a listing shows up and we drive out to see it, and it is never the one.

Most places in our lives require some level of performance. At work, we’re expected to be competent and composed. In our relationships, we’re often the caretaker, the peacemaker, the responsible one. On social media, we’re presenting some version of ourselves, whether we realize it or not. Even in personal growth spaces, there can be pressure to be self-aware, healed, evolved, or actively working on ourselves.

There’s a moment most women don’t say out loud and no one else would notice it, but it changes everything. It’s the moment you realize you’ve been waiting to be chosen by a partner, by an opportunity, by someone who finally looks at you and says, “Yes, you.”

Most of us are already playing roles all day long. The responsible one. The easygoing one. The one who keeps it together. The one who doesn’t rock the boat. We learned these parts somewhere along the way, and we got really good at them.